He
Seeing the place would make everything more real. I still have no idea why you went missing, or chose to hide from me. No one would tell me. Not your friends, not our friends. I think they are keeping something from me, something important, something that would give me some answers. I won’t give up though, no, not until I find you, or until you tell me in the face that you want to break-up with me. I think there is something I must do, even if I don’t want to, because it might give me a clue. 

If only I wasn’t so scared of losing you

If only…

She
...simply because I cannot bear to work in another department other than the A & E. It has always been a dream, an ambition to work in the ER since I was young. It was a happening place, where life and death situations unfolds every moment, and I want to be part of the action, the “excitement” to change a person’s life. The job was fulfilling too, especially when the injured and dying are brought in and they recover under the care of the team. Overall, I enjoy the problems posed to me every minute, the fast pace of the ER, which gives this sense that I’m really alive. 
But now, I can’t do these things anymore, I feel so useless. 

If only I could have my old life back

If only…

From the 5 chapters and the poem written by the author herself...

She
If only I could look into the crystal ball,
If only I knew then, 
I wouldn’t have loved you,
Knowing that leaving would be so hard.
If only I knew.

If only…

If only I could live life again,

If only I could turn back time,
I would have chosen to be strangers,
I would have regretted that life.

If only…

He

If only I knew what would happen
If only I could tell
I never would have flew
I never would have left.
If only I knew.

If only…

If only I could see you again,
If only time stood still,
I want to tell you, 
I wouldn’t have let you out of my life.

If only… 

I believe this is a story about two people who met, fell in love, lived together and 3 years later, the woman left without an explanation and the man searching in vain for answers. We have yet to know what happened that caused the woman to leave. In fact I am not even sure if they were lovers since She may be talking about a different He and He may be searching for another She. But I believe this He is searching for She and this She, a doctor who left her job and her life was avoiding this He, almost regretting meeting He for reasons that we have yet to know, or perhaps He knows the reasons but is running away from the very truth that was before his eyes because he was afraid to face the truth and that is the very backbone of this story. Why she left? We are as confused and as ill informed as the poor He. We know He still loves She, so much so he refuses to go to their ex-love nest, because of the memories and more confusion and we knew She still loves He because frankly, she saw him and she quickly avoided him. The more you avoid someone, the more reason to believe you must have some feelings for this man. But why would she just leave, without a word? We will never know until the author updates her story. And she better have a good answer for making me ask so many questions!

Comments
It is rather difficult and terribly unfair for me to comment on her story. At this moment, the story has yet to even begin. But the Author requested me to do so and I shall review it as best I could.

Let me say this first. When I was reading the story, I thought I was "watching" an art film. It felt like one with the Hes and the Shes.

By reading the comments left by the author, she seemed a bit unsure about where her story is heading, and the ambiguity of the story and her indecisiveness adds to the mystery of the story as it unfolds before our eyes. I hope she better know where her story is going, if not this indecisiveness may not act in her favour as these 5 chapters did.

Frankly, amongst all the stories I have read, this story, written by an amateur writer for a Fan Fiction site is one of the most poetic I have read. True, there were dialogues or words used which were very childish, very inappropriate, adding '"Overall" making the whole dialogue into something less dignified, something less real. But frankly, overall (no pun intended), I feel the first 5 chapters weaved this rather mysterious aura in the story, where we are faced with questions after questions, confusion, dilemma. In just 2 chapters, the author has successfully created a distinct pattern in her story; one character was searching and one character was avoiding. But frankly, I can't pin point which character is actually doing the searching or which character is avoiding. We know the He is searching for the She, and yet he avoids going to the very place that He might find She, their old house/apartment. We know She is avoiding He and yet She goes back to the very place that He could be there. So in the end, we really know nothing.

But the emotional aspect of the characters are well described, however juvenile the dialogues may be. When I say juvenile, I don't mean it in a degrading way, I just have a feeling this author must be very young. I have been reviewing stories and series from the perspective of my age, my education level and my views of the world. And the authors may be writing their stories from their own perspective, their own age, and etc. So when I feel it is juvenile, they may feel it is appropriate and very real. So this part of the reviewing is very difficult for me, without sounding like I am insulting or undermining a great effort here.  One minute she was making the characters sound so depressed, so desperate, trying to reason with us their own reasons for what they were doing, almost begging us to understand and to accept their reasons and next, we have words like "Ok", "I really mean it", "Overall", somehow the statements became rather unemotional, like it didn't matter, like whatever they have said before were just careless remarks when we know for a fact that the He and the She were revealing their innermost thoughts, something that they really cared about. It was as if the He almost cared and yet didn't. Rather impersonal, because unsuitable words were used and as such created a rather negative effect to the author's original intention.

But there are quite a few gems of paragraphs by the author. A few that I particularly liked are these;

Perhaps we have brushed shoulders before as strangers, never knowing that one day our paths would cross again.

And perhaps that’s why I’m here today. To undo our paths at where it all began.

and 

'Think’ is a word that I often use now, because I can’t really distinctively figure out how I feel…it’s often very contradictory, part of me wanting to stay in self-delusion, part wanting to find out the truth. 

Rather poetic don't you think? 

It is quite evident the author loves writing poetry (since in her other story, Autumn Wind, she began the story with a poem written by herself) and therefore is more careful in her choices of words, though sometimes she may have used inappropriate ones in inappropriate places. The above two paragraphs illustrates the author's capacity for being poetic, and her good command of the English language. When I read the poem in the Prologue, and the author did nothing to begin the story, I was impressed. I thought she had quite a different style. Whilst some dialogues falter, gems as above and sometimes when the story properly begins after each narration by the He and She, where there was no description of time, place nor physical attributes, there were no names and no gossiping bunch, just He, She and their emotional aspect, there is something quite magical about the story. Some might see it as melancholy, some might see it as depressing, some might see confusion, I see it as mesmerizing. It has an almost hypnotic effect, and I found myself clicking for the next chapter, because frankly, each chapter is short and yet informative, and yet mysterious. Like I said, in the end you would know nothing because the author spends a whole lot more of time establishing the characters' emotions rather than the plot. I suspect their emotions is the story's plot.

One possible weakness in the story. There is still not one definable plot, and it's ok with me since I am someone who likes stories with or without plots, as long as there is an aim. The author may not have one at this moment but I believe if she were to re-read her story, I believe sub-consciously she had one, but she may not realise it as yet. I can't believe how someone could write as she did, with the potential that she showed would have no aim in the first place. 

Some might not like the mysterious part of the story, some would like the whole story to just begin at once so that they can guess the whole plot, I like her style for the very nature that the author is taking her time to reveal her plot, but at the same time making us feel acquainted with her He and She. I hope she continues in this very distinct style of hers, and not falter by creating ridiculous or predictable love story or giving us nonsensical reasons for their separation. The point is, you would really want to know why She left He. That is the point.

However, this story has its certain flaws.

The author would have a monumental task of not confusing her readers with the way she structured her story. Each chapter begins with a She revealing her innermost thoughts,  then He doing the same and then the story proper, narrated by a third party, which will combine both perspectives of He and She before the proper story began and give us  a bigger and more wider picture. That could be a confusing read. And frankly, I am more intrigued with the way she wrote the story after what the He and She said, because it was tedious to read what they say  only to discover that what they have said was in the story below. You're reading the same old thing, but with more things, and less personal. I would hope the author considers changing the style a bit. I don't mean deleting the He/She perspectives, but perhaps do away with the repetition. Write something new below instead of the same thing. What they think need not correspond with the story proper, there is no rule you must be consistent in this way. Frankly, by her writing the He/She perspective, I know more about the characters and how they feel (however repetitive the chapter may be) but quite funny that I do not know how they look like. It doesn't really matter anyway. 

One more point I must stress on about this author's style. Chapter 5 has a very intriguing end to it, and this author has a knack for stopping at the right places, for some of the chapters. And she has a powerful sense of description, when it comes to the atmosphere or the places surrounding the two lead characters.  In fact this author is not even concerned about starting her story right away. A poem first, and then a few paragraphs in the next chapter, stopping when she was almost going to reveal more, and next chapter the very same thing. I applaud her talent in keeping her readers glued to her story, however unsure she might have been about the plot.

However, I would hope she would abandon her "If only.." at the end of every chapter or at the beginning. Rather tedious to read if only if only if only all the time. Almost killed my mood. One If Only is ok but to do that every time is overkill. And she should consider changing the title. If Only is much too ordinary and not quite catchy enough. I know, the words If Only.. were used in the poem and is the very reason as to how she structured her story but frankly, if she didn't ask to review her story, I might have missed her story if I was searching in Winglin.

And I hope the author will not drag the story till 20 chapters and just end it in perhaps 15. But since she wrote such short chapters, I would recommend and hope that she stops at maximum 20 chapters, to avoid the story from being tedious to read and especially repetitive. The sight of 50 chapters makes me feel so tired to read the story, unless the story has a gripping 1st or 2nd chapter.

Funn's Recommendation
I believe given more time, age and experience, and when this author grows out of love stories, this author could be quite a talent in being a storyteller, since she has already have quite a strong command of the language and in expressing herself, all she needs is a good story to begin with, have an aim or a direction to her story, never ever deviating from the point of origin that is her original purpose for the story and a special talent for stopping the story at the right place (if she is writing a novel or a novella) or adopting a more poetic approach in a more consistent way without being overbearing, arrogant in her style or unable to reach her readers with too flowery or big words (if she is writing any type of stories, even suspense stories unless it is a comedy, where frankly, there are no such limitations in my opinion). 

Anyway, give this story a try and try not to be confused as hell, or feel that it is a tedious read. It is not. It slowly builds up and I hope the author does not go into the usual clichés about love. I would give her more credit than that. Expect a rather different storytelling in this story and remember to bug her to update often.

And one final suggestion to the author. I hope she  would stop writing that she is not sure where this story is heading or that she has no concrete idea where the story is heading.  Her story would have suffered from her open confession of indecisiveness if not for the mysterious atmosphere she injected into the story, which I believe is as a result of her own indecisiveness, however ironic that may be. Don't let us know, because I would rather have an author who pretends to know where her story is heading and we not knowing she doesn't know and thinks she is just writing like she doesn't know than she says " I don't know", because that is very dangerous; it means your story is spur of the moment, nothing concrete and therefore, not written with careful attention and is prone to inconsistencies and bad storytelling. So far her story is going somewhere, and it is doing fine. I enjoyed the first 5 chapters and since everybody says I am so picky, I guess that could be a compliment, for what it is worth, if she cares for my compliments.  I applaud her effort. Keep up the good work.